Group Profile — Two Lebs, a dog and THE @zN house

David Jiang (a.k.a Jiang): From 7O, he is famous for his great “one-liners”. He can be found sitting around playing Magic during recess and lunch. At times, he will go to the toilet and come back being laughed at by the group for the unusual walk. His favourite moment with the group was definitely year 10 camp. Loves BoA, but has really bad breath.

David Wu (a.k.a Daewu): From 7F, he is famous for sticking an ad up on Moynham’s window. Once annoyed everyone by bringing a fat tag-a-long to parties (his student, fat boy Laurence). He use to live in Lewisham and it was our hideout from school during years 8, 9 and parts of year 10. For someone who claims to be Shang, his Chinese is rather poor. Currently known for never attending class and jigging with his GF.

Devesh Sharma (a.k.a Dog): From 7R and is the only curry of the group. He is the self-claimed vegetarian but was caught eating a meat pie in year 8. Now, he is a full homie, so don’t try to start him! As well, he prides himself on knowing one Cantonese word – “GOW” (Canto for dog).

Enoch Lau (a.k.a Nerd / Ewok): From 7F, he is famous for his unsuccessful attempt of asking a girl in our grade out. (There, there, Enoch…one day) He describes himself as friendly and generous but he is actually really stingy. Dux of the grade for 5 years already, he wants to become a scientist — NERD!!! His Chinese is also pathetic for someone that was born in HK.

Eric Cheung (a.k.a Bert): From 7T and he is least “fobby” person in the group. Mr. Ricky C is an expert in handball, but a complete amateur at Chinese, or anything Asian. Some call him the ‘Asian’ jock of the group and he has a twin that everyone has at least seen once in their life. When he grows up, he wants to be taller. P.S. Kevin doesn’t like your dog!

Garry Chang (a.k.a Little Gary): From 7R and he has a girl’s Chinese name. A bit anti-social at times but he joins in whenever we make fun of Jiang. Has undergone the biggest change in the group when he went out for the first time and watched Matrix Reloaded with us. He follows the English Premier League and he is the only one of us who does IPT.

Gary Chen (a.k.a Big Gary / Gorilla): From 7O, he is famous for his charcoal chicken place. He has all the game systems and loves to draw anime. He has long hair and looked like a girl in a sticker photo back in year 9. He doesn’t run and you can poke him in the stomach and he won’t feel a thing. Gary is also Mr. Congeniality and is currently carrying a little one of four months.

George Hu (a.k.a Little Sheep): From 7R, he has a big temper for such a small guy. Although one of the oldest ones in the group, he is still very much a kid at heart; he loves his gameboy and has a strange habit of tape recording people. When he’s not pissed about Chemistry, he will bring his Mahjong set to school for all to play.

Jack Wu (a.k.a. Jacky): From 7F, he is famous for his flexibility. There have been rumours about him being a paedophile, but for the purposes of keeping this PG, we won’t go into detail. He is a chess master and once put bottles of gel in his hair to intimidate/charm Sydney Boys in Year 10. He also has the best manners in the group.

Jason Chan (a.k.a Mr Potato Head): From 7I, he is famous for his shorts and being the first Asian with a mullet. Obsessed with games, he has three younger sisters, or as he says, two sisters and a twin brother. He has never jigged, but was caught in bed with two other members of the group one fateful night in year 11 camp. Tag - ~MPH~

Jay Zhang (a.k.a J): Came in year 11 and can sometimes get on people’s nerves for bossing people round in a friendly game of soccer. He came from Parramatta High and his first friend at Fort Street was Devesh. He is an active player and is very studious. He also sweats like a running tap and he tends to speak his mind.

Jim Ding (a.k.a. Ernie): From 7T, he left us at the end of Year 9. He is famous for his generosity of letting us copy his homework/tests. He’s a playful character and a bit of a roly-poly – estimated measurements – 28, 33, 28! During his time at Fort Street, Jim was regularly seen wearing faded pink PE shorts and he sometimes runs like as if he’s swimming freestyle.

Johnson Gao (a.k.a Pink Elephant): From 7O, he is famous for a variety of things. Has embarrassed himself a number of times with the group (wall ball, tennis, French class, debating, etc, etc) but he is a very friendly person. Tends to smell like a camel and has staged the miracle weight loss when he came back from China – according to some, at least 20kgs! As well, Ping notices that his zipper is undone at least once every 5 months.

Kevin Ha (a.k.a HAbib): From 7O, he is famous for living in mini-Lebanon and having 30+ cousins to back him up. Mr. Ha has the ability to laugh at anything but has no brains when it comes to Magic or Starcraft. His mole has actually stopped growing and he once stayed in the disabled toilet at Burwood for 10 minutes so that he can wait to sneak into a movie. One day, he’ll finally start singing songs that are not by Twins.

Ping Pan (a.k.a Pingu / Peter Pan): From 7T, he is famous for creating toy porn movies. He throws great parties and was the first in the group to do something strange with animals (the fish). Peter Pan has done something wacko to his hair at least once every year since year 10 and he once accidentally proposed to someone in our group (a guy) when he was high. In the future, he will fly to Never Never Land with Wendy.

Qiao Nan Han (a.k.a Qiaobo): Came in year 11, he quickly settled into the group with his love for Magic and he’s cluelessness. Qiaobo is in some way related to HAbib because he talks like a Leb sometimes. He has the funniest actions when playing hackysack. Favourite words include: hairy, elite, ugly and anal, and he has a weird attraction to a guy in Sydney Tech.

Ryan Reynolds (a.k.a. Ryan sucks þ???§e$): From 7T, he is the only skip of the group. Undoubtedly a Leb in disguise, he has a big collection of pirated DVDs. He is the best soccer player of the group and according to Jason, pissed on his hair one day and made it turn yellow. His full name is Ryan Owen Charles Reynolds and going to PC is the ultimate highlight of his day.

Sam Su Chen (a.k.a Lostie): Came in year 11, he is the biggest fob of the group. He has a funny Chinaman accent and he has a unique skill in crossing his legs. According to some girls, Mr. Lostie is perfect for commercials selling beauty products. He is so lost that whenever he joins a conversation, he will remain lost till the end. He will always have a pen in his pocket.

Sheng Hua (a.k.a. Shengbo): Came in Year 11, he is an extremely quiet guy. Studious and generous, he is usually found in the library with Xiao and Jay. He spends his recess and lunch reading the paper or eating a No Frills packet of cheese rings. Although he catches the same bus as Johnson, it is clear that he has not been influenced.

Shinuo Liu (a.k.a Fart bomb): From 7R, he is famous for breaking wind whenever it’s silent. He has good timing and management and can break wind every 4 hours (1:47 & 5:47). His lips are so big that some say that when he smiles, it looks like Luna Park. With the loudest laugh in the group, he also has an uncanny resemblance to a famous Chinaman. One day, he might change the one hairstyle that he has had since Year 7.

Wayland Le (a.k.a Wayz): From 7F, he is famous for his bike and helmet. On special occasions, he will do the bumblebee dance for the group and he enjoys drawing stick people. Although not fat, he has a similar belly size to Fat Tony from the Simpsons. As well, he is a great swimmer and is a genius when it comes to software programming. He is one of Qiaobo’s Magic colleagues.

William Wong (a.k.a Will): From 7R, he is famous for his obsessive nature. He is obsessed with cars and with the not-so-pretty HK singer, Joey Yung. On a science trip, Gary invented William’s sex symbol – the circle. He is the typical honkie and his younger brother is whom he calls “mini Gary”. Apparently, from a secret source, Mr. Wong also has a collection of moisturizers at home. And finally, he likes orange shoes.

Xiao Gui (a.k.a. Gravity): Came in Year 11, he looks like the Chairman of China. He has big stereotypical thick glasses and he giggles at the most bland things. Xiao is a chess freak and there is a strong bond between Qiao and him because of these overt similarities. He is usually spotted eating a sausage roll or a meat pie.